Nothing makes an NFL coach’s eyes roll faster than a game prediction immediately after the schedule release.

So many variables — from injuries to weather to hot and cold streaks — could change between now and whenever two teams clash, so it’s impossible to tell how things will shake out. And there’s always a worst-to-first opponent that will play a lot tougher than they look on paper.

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Oh, and we haven’t seen Ben Johnson as a head coach or what his Bears schemes will look like.

So, in sum, don’t hold me to any predictions boldly made below. It’s way, way, way, way too early and all that. Unless I get some right. Then I’m a genius who should be heralded as such.

Either way, let’s have some fun here and go through the season, mock-draft style.

Week 1: Bears vs. Vikings — Sept. 8 at 7:15 p.m. CT (ESPN/ABC)

There’s never a better time to see a first-round draft pick quarterback than in his first-ever NFL start, in the season’s first game and on a team with new schematics.

Watch out, J.J. McCarthy. There will be unscouted looks.

Predicition: Bears 20, Vikings 13

Week 2: Bears at Lions — Sept. 14 at noon CT (FOX)

Ben Johnson’s return to Detroit comes early. It probably will be emotional for both sides, considering he was beloved within the Lions organization.

Johnson will have some creativity to help the Bears, but the Lions have tons of talent. It’ll be close, but Detroit will prevail.

Prediction: Lions 28, Bears 21

Week 3: Bears vs. Cowboys — Sept. 21 at 3:25 p.m. CT (FOX)

Dallas is an enigma. Lots of talent. Regular underperformance. The Cowboys’ lines aren’t as good, and the Bears’ fronts are far better. That matters a great deal in a game like this.

The Bears’ offense might need to work out early kinks, but Week 3 might be a pour-it-on affair.

Prediction: Bears 35, Cowboys 27

Week 4: Bears at Raiders — Sept. 28 at 3:25 p.m. CT (CBS)

Throwing a W at this game feels automatic, but the Raiders have Geno Smith, Brock Bowers, Maxx Crosby and Ashton Jeanty now, and Pete Carroll is running the show. They should be better, and this won’t be a gimmie.

Still believe the Bears get it, though.

Prediction: Bears 24, Raiders 17

Week 5: Bye week

The Bears are 3-1 and feeling good entering an early bye. They’d better be ready for the gauntlet coming after the break.

Week 6: Bears at Commanders — Oct. 13 at 7:15 p.m. CT (ESPN/ABC)

Caleb vs. Jayden: Part Deux should be fun, especially after last year’s Hail Mary win by the Commanders. The Bears will want revenge at the site of 2024’s biggest failure, but it ain’t coming. The Commanders are too good, and Daniels causes lots of problems.

Prediction: Commanders 20, Bears 17

Week 7: Bears vs. Saints — Oct. 19 at noon CT (FOX)

Dennis Allen might not say it, but he’ll want to beat the team that fired him. And the Saints are on the struggle bus without a legitimate quarterback option. And this game is at home for the Bears.

Should be a slam dunk.

Prediction: Bears 30, Saints 10

Week 8: Bears at Ravens — Oct. 26 at noon CT (CBS)

This is where the schedule becomes super difficult. Lamar Jackson is a monster to deal with, then you add the Derrick Henry factor and the Ravens’ always stout defense. And it’s in Baltimore.

Tough draw for the Bears leads to a rough day.

Prediction: Ravens 24, Bears 20

Week 9: Bears at Bengals — Nov. 2 at noon CT (CBS)

The Bengals had a down year in 2024 by their lofty standards. That won’t happen again, whether Trey Hendrickson is playing in Cincinnati or not.

Dealing with the Ravens and Bengals back-to-back is super difficult.

Prediction: Bengals 28, Bears 24

Week 10: Bears vs. Giants — Nov. 9 at noon CT (FOX)

Doesn’t matter if it’s Russell Wilson or Jameis Winston or Jaxon Dart at quarterback. The Giants aren’t ready for a Bears offense that should have hit its stride at this point.

Prediction: Bears 38, Giants 17

Week 11: Bears at Vikings — Nov. 16 at noon CT (FOX)

Ben Johnson versus Brian Flores is worth the price of admission. The Vikings still have weapons, and they significantly upgraded their offensive line, but this matchup (on paper) looks to favor the Bears even with Justin Jefferson in the pattern.

Cairo Santos knocks it through the uprights for a late-game winner.

Prediction: Bears 27, Vikings 24

Week 12: Bears vs. Steelers — Nov. 23 at noon CT (CBS)

You’ve seen lots of high Bears point totals in games won or lost to this point. This one will be a grind, whether Aaron Rodgers is a Steeler or not. It’ll be cold. Both defenses should be good.

The Bears win this one the hard way.

Prediction: Bears 17, Steelers 14

Week 13: Bears at Eagles — Nov. 28 at 2 p.m. CT (Prime Video)

Facing the Eagles on a short week will be tough. So will Philly’s defensive line. The Eagles sure look like the total package heading into the season, but the Bears will put up a fight.

Prediction: Eagles 31, Bears 24

Week 14: Bears at Packers — Dec. 7 at noon CT (FOX)

Matt LaFleur wins the first meeting with Johnson’s Bears. There should be some added motivation to this one, even over the typically high stakes. Doesn’t this feel like it should be played in the snow, too?

Prediction: Packers 20, Bears 17

Week 15: Bears vs. Browns — Dec. 14 at noon CT (FOX)

The Browns added some interesting draft pieces, but their quarterback room is a mess and will be all season. The Bears’ defense will feast.

Prediction: Bears 27, Browns 13

Week 16: Bears vs. Packers — Dec. 20, kickoff TBD (FOX)

This game will be played in an exclusive window, and the country will get to see the Bears exact revenge for an earlier loss.

Prediction: Bears 27, Packers 20

Week 17: Bears at 49ers — Dec. 28 at 7:20 p.m. CT (NBC)

The 49ers have suffered some significant losses from a talent perspective and might well be out of it at this point. Or they could be the juggernaut of years past. It’s anybody’s guess.

So, we’ll go with it being a rough season for the 49ers and the Bears reaching double-digit wins.

Prediction: Bears 28, 49ers 24

Week 18: Bears vs. Lions — Jan. 3/4, kickoff TBD (TBD)

The NFC North will be close again this season, so this will be a meaningful game for the Lions. They will be motivated to win the division and hand the Bears their first home loss in the last game of the year on a last-season score.

Prediction: Lions 31, Bears 28